I miss Bali already

It's been 4 day since I left Bali..
What do you know.. yaa I miss Bali already.. about the situation, I miss the day that I've been through there..
It's really sad when you have to go from the place you loved. 
I miss the weather, the people, the crowded, the activity,, I miss my friends.. and yes I miss him also.
But that's not the point about what I miss..
I like living there, yes I have imagine that someday I will leave Bali, but not this soon..
No one know, well I guess, except Dea, Lidia, Cece, Babul, Veve, and he..
I miss my ex-team at Grapari Kuta.. it such a fun when you work with the people you care.. and they also care about you..
...
What do you know.. guess what.. I just opened my FB messages.. voila.. there is a message from my old friend Hasyim, he gave the information about vacancy job at his office.. weewww.. like day dreaming in this afternoon..
Come on Shanti do not wasting the chance.. 
Bismillah.. Ya Allah SWT please bless me for this job.. 

here and now

Sendiri.. right here right now..
Terkadang akan terlihat sangat menggelikan mungkin ya, sendiri di keramaian..
Have u imagine.. gimana rasanya ketika kamu sedang duduk sendiri di suatu food court mall diantara begitu banyak manusia berlalu lalang,, ataupun duduk makan bersama-sama sedangkan kau hanya duduk sorang diri ditemani laptop, hape, modem, dan segelas es teh..
Entah kenapa rasa nyaman itu muncul tiba-tiba ditengah keramaian seperti ini..
Sometimes.. just sometime u really need to get into urself.. doing ur own favorite activity without no one to accompany u..
Yeah.. but I do this so many times I guess..
ketika aku cuma duduk sendiri dengan headset, dan laptop.. seakan tidak ada orang lain di sekelilingku.. Tenggelam dalam duniaku sendiri.. hahaha.. paranormal activity.. that's what he call about my hobby..
Whoa.. jadi ngaco kan nulisnya.. yaa yaa.. 

R.I.P my dearest friend.. :')

It's almost a month since u leave all of us dear..
Still remember how we laugh together.. cry together..
Each moment we have been through.. I know that Allah SWT love u most dear that's why u go.. :'(
We always pray for u dear.. me, Nova, Sita, Ridha, Yuli Mataram.. selamanya kita akan menjadi sahabat..
Dan ketika hari pernikahanku tiba.. aku tahu bahwa kau pasti ada di situ untuk aku.. untuk kita semua..
Aku tahu bahwa kamu selalu ada untuk kita semua.. seperti saat - saat kuliah dulu.. selalu ber-enam..
Kita semua lebih dari sahabat... ya kita adalah keluarga.. :')
Selamat tidur panjang my dear... semoga Allah SWT selalu menjagamu di sana dan menjaga selalu keluargamu di sini..
Semoga Ocha dan Bhiga menjadi anak - anak yang kuat dan selalu tahu bahwa mereka mempunyai ibu yang hebat... yang sangat sayang mereka.. yaitu kamu..
rest in peace Ullie..

alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah..
enggak pernah rasanya bisa berhenti bersyukur atas semua nikmat Allah SWT...
bersyukur atas semua karunia yang telah Allah SWT berikan.. selalu dan tepat pada waktunya.. Allah memberikan nikmat dan memberikan apa yang aku butuhkan bukan yang aku inginkan..
Masih amazed rasanya.. seperti mimpi.. detik - detik terakhir untuk mengambil keputusan dan saat itu juga jawaban Allah SWT datang.. Subhanallah.. :')

Semakin menyadari bahwa cinta Allah SWT kepada makhluknya itu melebihi apapun..
Sujud syukur.. segala puji bagi Allah SWT..
Jika Engkau masih mengizinkan Ya Allah SWT..
masih ada asa dan harapan yang aku gantungkan pada-Mu Ya Rabb..
" aku hanya meminta pada_mu seorang yang tak sempurna, ya Rabb, sehingga ia merasa sempurna ketika diriku hadir dalam kehidupannya karena-Mu begitu pula sebaliknya ya Rabb, aku merasa sempurna ketika dirinya hadir dalam kehidupanku karena-Mu, dan aku berharap seseorang itu adalah dia UK.."

Amiin Allahumma Amiin..

let's play the game

pernah nggak sih berpikir kalo gak selamanya diam itu suatu hal yang baik..
awalnya bisa sih berpikir seolah-olah nggak ada apa-apa.. tetep nglakuin tugas n pekerjaan seperti biasa..
tapiii.. kok kayaknya makin kesini makin parah yaa kondisinya,,
uda nglakuin, nyelesein tugas sehari-hari tapi makin nggak dianggap..
baiklahhh.. let's play the game then.. seberapa bisa sih kalo bener-bener ternyata ga ada TL hemm..
diajakin perang mulu nih.. baiklah.. saya terima .. just watch n see..
sisa 2 minggu ini sebenernya saya gak pengen seperti ini.. tapi anda membuat saya tidak nyaman pak..

then u'll take the risk..

still about love - the lyrics

"My Love"

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, you have found peace
You were searching for relief

You gave it all, gave into the call
You took a chance and
You took a fall for us

You came thoughtfully, loved me faithfully
You taught me honor, you did it for me

Tonight you will sleep for good
You will wait for me my love

Now I am strong (Now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My love, look what you can do
I am mending, I'll be with you

You took my hand added a plan
You gave me your heart
I asked you to dance with me

You loved honestly
Did what you could release
Aaaahhh oooh

I know you're pleased to go
I won't relieve this love

Now I am strong (Now I am strong)
You gave me all
You gave all you had and now I am home

My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, I'll be with you
oooooohh ooooh
Du du du ooooooh

let's do it again ;)

fighting..
I think we will never stop to fight.. fight for ur right.. fight for ur love.. ;)
hahaha.. well do I really want fighting for my love again??..
I thought so.. I really want him back again..
...
kejadiannya gak pernah disangka - sangka..
u will never thought before..
just need less than 24 hours..
hahaha..

going crazy I guess..
but this is really happen.. well I'm not dreaming.. Not I?
take a deep breathe..

bismillah.. the struggle begin..

I Want You Back

 this the most loveable song for me..
represent what I am feel right now..
:) .. I really want you back to me.. 

"I Want You Back"

When I had you to myself
I didn't want you around
Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd
But someone picked you from the bunch
One glance was all it took
Now it's much too late for me to go and take a second look

Oh baby give me one more chance
Won't you please let me in your heart
Oh darling I was blind to let you go
Now that I see you in his arms
I want you back
I want you back
I want you back

Trying to live without your love
Is like one long sleepless night
Let me show you boy
That I really know, I know wrong from right
Cause every street you're walking on
You leave tear stains on the ground
Follow boy, I didn't even want
Didn't even want you around

Oh baby give me one more chance
To show you I love you
Won't you please let me in your heart
Oh darling I was blind to let you go
Let you go baby
Now that I see you in his arms
Oh now that I see you in his arms
I want you back
I want you back
I want you back

wake up Yulie..

wake up.. u must be strong dear..

wake up my dear friend..

Hari itu.. dua hari setelah ulang tahunku.. hari dimana kamu baru ngucapin met ultah ke aku..
Hari dimana kamu kecelakaan.. seandainya aja aku langsung read and bales bbmmu ya Yul.. mungkin aku masih punya kesempatan untuk ngobrol sama kamu.. 
Sore itu.. kamu bbm dan kamu PING! beberapa kali tapi aku belum ada respon karena masih sibuk sama kerjaanku .. Sekitar jam 19.00 WITA aku baru bales bbm kamu ya Yul.. setelah itu Cuma ada tanda “delivered’ dan belum ada respon.. aku masih cuek aja karena nggak terpikir apapun tentang kondisimu saat itu..
Ternyata saat itulah kamu ngalamin kecelakaan.. yang ngebawa kamu ke kondisimu sekarang.. 
Bangun Yulie.. kamu nggak tau gimana nyeselnya aku nggak bales bbm saat itu juga.. seandainya aja aku langsung bales mungkin kamu gak langsung buru-buru pulang dari kantor .. seandainya aku langsung bales kamu mungkin bisa terhindar dari kecelakaan itu 
Bangun Yulie.. kita semua sayang sama kamu.. Nova, Rida, Sita, Yuli Mataram, and aku.. Aku masih inget sama janji kalian semua untuk dataeng di hari pernikahanku.. aku mau nagih janji itu Yulie..
Dan aku baru tau dari Sita.. bahwa kalian uda rencana bikin seragam untuk di hari pernikahanku.. Yulie bangun..
Kamu harus bangun dulu dari tidur panjangmu.. kamu harus datang ke nikahanku.. itu janji kita semua.. karena aku penutup yg paling bontot nikah.. Yulie harus nepatin janjinya.. Kita semua selalu hadir di setiap pernikahan masing-masing kecuali saat itu Yuli Mataram karena dia ada di Bima..
Aku mau di hari itu kita semua berenam ada di sana.. all of my best friend..
Aku masih berharap itu bisa terwujud
Aku masih terus berdo’a untuk keajaiban buat kamu Yulie
Aku tau Yulie kuat.. Yulie pengen bisa aktivitas lagi kan.. ngurusin anak-anak ama suami kamu.. ketawa-ketiwi ngrumpi sama temen-temen kamu.. sama kita..
Yulie semua orang sayang ama kamu jadi aku mohon sama Allah SWT supaya kamu di kasih keajaiban..
Yaa Allah SWT aku mohon yang terbaik untuk sahabatku Yulie.. berilah keajaiban untuknya Yaa Allah SWT.. amiinn

face it..

Life is like a movie scene..
sometimes you will act as a hero.. in other time you act as a looser..
laugh.. tears..happiness..sadness..
loosing word
loosing time
loosing mind
loosing control of emotion
loosing thought
loosing brave
...
But it won't making me loose my faith to Allah SWT..
No matter how hurt it is.. I always believe that Allah SWT wouldn't leave me alone..
but there are few thing that I really haven't ready yet..
I really scared that my tears will fall down and I couldn't stop it..